the diary of someone who never understood the world — even though he understood it well enough
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athanasia(อาธานาเซีย)เรื่องย่อ
the diary of someone who never understood the world — even though he understood it well enough
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The Diary Awaiting Oblivion (ENG)
the diary of someone who never understood the world — even though he understood it well enough
i climb the mountain, swallowed by a fog that hangs low enough to consume the body
every step feels like sinking further into the gray
the sound of my footsteps striking wet stone
on the path to the summit, the only sound louder is my own breath, sharp as if piercing my ears
each rock slick with water
the soil beneath my shoes soft, as though ready to collapse at any moment
the wind parts the fog for a brief instant, only to draw it back across my eyes, leaving nothing ahead to see
as if the mountain itself were telling me:
‘no matter how far you try to look forward, you will be devoured all the same’
i try to ask myself why i continue walking
why i chose to come here
i tell myself perhaps there is a view worth seeing at the top — though i never even read the reviews before coming
but the dense fog speaks clearer than any comfort i whisper to myself — that what waits may be nothing but emptiness above the forest, colder than the ground below
every step forward is not a search for answers, but a bargain struck with myself
— so i don’t have to admit i should stop here
— so i don’t turn back down
— so i don’t disappoint myself more than i already have
and so i don’t have to face my own gaze staring back, asking:
‘then what was all of this for?’