the diary of someone who never understood the world — even though he understood it well enough
ผู้แต่ง
athanasia(อาธานาเซีย)เรื่องย่อ
the diary of someone who never understood the world — even though he understood it well enough
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The Diary Awaiting Oblivion (ENG)
the diary of someone who never understood the world — even though he understood it well enough
i have always wondered why people are afraid of ghosts
i often watch horror films before bed, to quicken my heartbeat just a little, to let exhaustion mingle with a fragile happiness that carries me gently into sleep. so—i have never feared horror films
when traveling to new places, i often wander into cemeteries, reading the words carved into cold stone. some are expectations never fulfilled, some regrets never redeemed, some nothing more than meaningless phrases left for no one. so—i have never feared cemeteries
darkness is the same. i have never felt dread sitting alone in the night. on the contrary, i often let the cold bite into my body, reminding me that life itself is wasting away, day by day, piece by piece. what is truly frightening is not being alone in the dark—but not being alone with something else in it
so i pray for them to be real
but if they were, those i loved would have returned—
to speak to me, to comfort me, to scold me,
to whisper that i must go on when i feel lost
but they never came back
i often speak aloud in my solitude:
“is there anyone here?”
“come out and talk to me”
i hope the shadow beneath the bed will stir
i hope the dark corner of the room will unveil a figure
and even if it drags me under the bed and snaps my neck—
at least that would bring me more peace than admitting ghosts are not real and to accept instead that my death…
is the true end of everything